This article was originally published at Shondaland.com
The hilarious comedian’s memoir is an inspirational story of resilience and reckoning.
Leslie F*cking Jones (the actual title of her new memoir) was always Leslie F*cking Jones. Even the image of little kid Leslie clutching a mic on the book’s cover and looking poised to fire a missive will double you over in laughter.
Her father once told her: “You are Black; you are a woman. But if you work harder and you’re better than everybody else, you are undeniable.” If you’re at all familiar with the work of this formidable comic, you already know that she is undeniable and won’t be surprised in the least to learn her memoir is every bit as hilarious as it is unflinchingly real. After all, The Fckry podcast host (with partner Lenny Marcus), guest host of The Daily Show, and actress/comedian of Ghostbusters and Saturday Night Live hasn’t a single qualm about delivering her truths — be it through her opinions, experiences, successes, or failures — in the inspiring, no-bulls--t way that only she can.
Who could forget the time she verbally assassinated the patriarchy in a Handmaid’s Tale dress on SNL’s Weekend Update? Or how she slayed hosting The Daily Show last winter with her searing, insightful hot takes? We couldn’t possibly forget her role as Spanish Jackie opposite SNL alum Fred Armisen in the HBO Max comedy Our Flag Means Death (a good thing because season two is about to premiere).
As one might expect, reading Jones’ memoir feels like you’re nestled into the crevices of a comfy couch, passing a fat spliff back and forth while she digs into the details of her life and the devils she’s found and slayed in them. Some CliffsNotes to give you a taste: A native of Memphis, Jones moved to Lynwood, California, as a teenager when her father got a job working at Stevie Wonder’s radio station (he has one). She developed a talent for basketball (she’s 6 feet tall), earning scholarships at Chapman University and Colorado State University. It was at the latter university where her friend Denita forced Jones’ initial indoctrination into stand-up by signing her up for the Funniest Person on Campus contest. When she won, she told The Rocky Mountain Collegian she was going to be the next Eddie Murphy.
Without spoiling too much about the contents of its pages, this book digs into what came before and after that fateful contest. Jones doesn’t flinch from disclosing childhood abuse; how she lost her mother, father, and brother so young; painful romantic relationships; and the trials and tribulations of the random jobs she took between comedy gigs to stay afloat. She also describes the journey of steadily building her skills and confidence, learning and refining her craft while touring all over the place, her love for John Ritter, and how she never shirks from advocating for herself and gig workers, with lots of laughter and occasional tears.
Shondaland recently caught up with Jones in advance of her book tour, and we can assure you that the thousand-watt smile you see on the cover of her memoir is the same smile she shares in real life.
VIVIAN MANNING-SCHAFFEL: What inspired you to write the book?
LESLIE JONES: That’s so funny. Everybody’s asking me that, and … my book agent was like, “Hey, you wanna write a book?” And I was like, “Yeah! I’ve got stuff to talk about, so yeah, let’s do it.”
VMS: How long did it take you to write?
LJ: I think it took us two years to really get everything hammered down and stuff because, you know, I’m older, so the memory is hazy. We had to get timelines right as accurately as we could, take stuff out, put stuff in.
VMS: How did you decide what you wanted to share in the book and what you didn’t want to share?
LJ: You know what’s so crazy is I had so much stuff in there that I had to take out because the book would have been too long. There are so many stories and so many things, so what we did was just try to stick to the timeline and the important events that happened in that timeline. We just started from childhood to get to here, to get to here, to get to here [gestures]. In the audio, I was able to express a lot more on the stories, so that’s a little bit more detailed, but everybody’s like, “You’ll probably have to write another book,” and I was like, “Please, don’t because I …” [laughs]. It’s hard!
Leslie Jones attends the Los Angeles premiere of Netflix’s The Mother at Westwood Regency Village Theater on May 10, 2023.
Axelle/Bauer-Griffin//Getty Images
VMS: It is hard, right?
LJ: It is hard, especially the ending part because you have to do the edits. Then, there’s a point where you go, “Oh, s--t, this is what people are going to read!” So, you’ve got to go, “Oh, man, no! Change that! Change this!”
VMS: It’s like the train has left the station, right?
LJ: Exactly! So, you’re just like, “Did I get that story right?” I found some stories that were wrong, so it’s crazy.
VMS: But there’s that disclaimer that it’s all through your lens and your recollection anyway, right? “This is my life through my eyes.”
LJ: That’s why I … was like, “Man, come on, I’m 55 — how much did you really think I was gonna [remember]?” [Laughs.] You know? [Jones just turned 56 on September 7].
VMS: You’re so brutally and beautifully honest and vulnerable in your book. Which story did you feel was the most challenging for you to share?
LJ: I always knew I wanted to talk about the abortions, but I wanted to put it in a way where people need to understand this is a decision that should not be anything but that person’s decision. I wanted the people who have to make those types of decisions to know they’re not alone: You are not the only person that this has happened to, and it’s your decision. I also wanted to point out prevention — how important it is for us to teach our children about sex, about how important it is for fathers to talk to daughters about sex, and for mothers to talk to sons. That is prevention. Stop sending your children out without weapons of knowledge.
When you don’t teach them about stuff like that, you send them out without the weapon of knowledge, without the weapon of protection. Teach them about sex. Teach them about protecting themselves. Just like you teach them about learning, you need to teach them about their bodies. It’s all very important because when you have to make decisions like that — it’s not a decision you want to make. I just wanted that section alone to [tell] any girl or woman that’s going through that, “You are not by yourself.”
Leslie Jones poses backstage at The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon on January 10, 2023.
NBC//Getty Images
VMS: You’ve also been unafraid to advocate for yourself, people on the crew, and others to make working conditions better, and you’re unafraid to advocate for what you feel is fair and right. I know that abortion is very important to you because your Handmaid’s Tale/Lipitor of it all on SNL comes to mind. Was including your experiences with abortion in the book important to you considering the climate with all the laws being passed right now?
LJ: Planned Parenthood alone, if you could understand how much they saved my life.
VMS: Mine too.
LJ: So many people. A doctor actually sitting me down and explaining this and this and this to me, and being concerned about that part of my health. [Defunding Planned Parenthood], it’s almost like you’re trapping us in a corner with no resources. I don’t understand the endgame — that’s what I want to know. What’s in it for you to force or take our rights away? What is the endgame? It makes me mad because stuff is just obvious. So f--king obvious. We all know if men could have babies, this would not be a subject, right? And why is that? We are half of the human race, and we don’t get to make decisions. We don’t. And the thing about it is, you’re coming at us like we’re bats--t crazy, and you’re the one who’s crazy. You’re the other half. We don’t get to reckon none of your s--t. If men get to say that, how come women don’t get to go, “Well, you’re not allowed to f--k us unless we’re of age?” How about that?
VMS: Seriously!
LJ: Whenever I hear a man say, “Well, you could always keep your legs closed,” I literally want to take a spiked bat and beat their f--king ass because when you say that, you’re literally leaving a whole person out of that equation. So, I could keep my legs closed, but what about that other person? He could also keep his d--k in his pants. Also, I can’t get pregnant by my motherf--king self, so I could keep my legs closed, but sperm still has to go inside of me, so there’s a whole other person who is responsible for this act. It’s just so f--king dumb! When people start talking like that, it shows how uneducated they are and how ignorant, and what a sexist bubble they’re in.
VMS: And how is it worse than when we were young?!
LJ: We’re supposed to be flying in spaceships! We’re supposed to be The Jetsons right now. How the f--k are we going backward?
Leslie Jones performs her stand up comedy routine on a stop of the Leslie Jones Live Tour at the Theater at Virgin Hotels Las Vegas on May 26, 2023 in Las Vegas.
Ethan Miller//Getty Images
VMS: If women ran things, maybe we would be flying in spaceships right now. You faced a considerable amount of racism and sexism while coming up in your career and give props to your dad, Coach Berger, Jamie Foxx, and Chris Rock. What advice would you give someone trying to come up now? If you could go back to young Leslie, what would you say?
LJ: I think I would tell everybody it’s not as bad as you think it is. Whatever it is that you’re going through, I know it feels like a crisis, but it literally is one event, and it’s going to be over. If you could just believe in yourself and live through it — I’m not saying that it’s easy. You could be getting put out on the street, you could be homeless, you could be losing your job. You can be in a bad relationship. It’s not the end of the f--king world until you’re dead. I just always tell people there’s got to be a little sense of hope, a little sliver of hope there. It’s got to be just a little bit. You can’t completely give up on yourself because that means that now you’re going to just become wallpaper.
I was just in an interview, and she was asking me what I would quantum-leap back and tell myself, and I was just like, “There was no such thing as me going, ‘Okay, I quit.’” I mean, of course, you say you quit because you’re like, “I give up on this,” but you don’t really quit, because you can’t quit on your life. What else are you going to do? What’re you going [to be], a f--king vagabond? What’re you going to be, a hobo? Because you’ve got to work. You got to do something. You’ve got to pay the bills. I mean, what’re you going to do? That’s a decision also. But I just tell people when they’re trying to do this business, they’re supposed to be [on] just a little, small level of the dreamer. You know?
People hate when I say this, but there’s realism here. There’s no such thing as a starving comic. Get a f--king job. Pay your f--king bills. Pay your f--king taxes. Get a f--king job. Then do what it is that you love. Now, if you get to the point where you can make money off of what it is that you love, then that’s what you do. You quit, and you f--king take your chance on that because you can always go back to working. You really can. But don’t be destitute and put yourself in such a desperate situation that you have to act from desperation. Because when you act from desperation, you do take anything; you’ll do anything. So, you got to hone … your talent. That’s why I was telling people to just stop being unrealistic at the wrong time. There’s times that you do need to be unrealistic and go for it, but then there’s times when your bills need to be paid. Get a f--king job. When you need to go to the doctor, go to the doctor.
VMS: In your book, you were vulnerable enough to share all of the times that you made it and then didn’t, the setbacks you experienced, and how life can throw you off and mess with your equilibrium. How do you want people to feel when they put the book down?
LJ: That was so cringe — I’ve been asking myself that question every time I’ve had an interview. It freaks me out when people say, “I read the book,” and I’m like, “Holy s--t, so you read it! And you’re still talking to me?” Okay, so you read the book, and you like it? And I didn’t offend you? Or did I sound preachy? So, it’s readable? All that’s going through my head first, so I guess I just want people to like the book. I want them to think it’s readable and to get encouraged, to know that you’re not the only one going through a struggle. You can go through a struggle and have s--t happen to you and still make it without sh--ting on people or stabbing them in the back. You can still do it.
VMS: And having the courage to walk away when you’re not feeling valued. Which you did many, many times.
LJ: It’s worth it when it comes back because then it’s really yours. I’m telling you, that’s the most horrible, hardest thing you’ll ever do is walk away from something that you really f--king want. But if it’s really yours, you will have it in the way that you’re supposed to have it. That’s why I tell people to read The Alchemist. The Alchemist is a great book. It’s a great story of how this person had one thing in their mind they wanted to do, but they needed to understand that you need to go through a journey to actually get to that goal.
VMS: And it comes when it comes.
LJ: Sometimes it doesn’t come the way that you think. Sometimes you get what it is that you need, and you never knew that you needed it. Like, I never would have gone to SNL. Never. SNL was nowhere on my radar. Ever, ever.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.